Photography: Alex Neal - Model: Joe Taylor
An illustration turned into a custom jacket turned into a film poster/editorial. Phew!
What happens when you delve deep into mucky, yucky, slimy and foggy part of your emotions?
Recently I've been zoning out a lot... and I've come to realise that I rationalise all my feelings. I am not saying I do not show these feelings LOL my mom would call me a liar (👹this was me most of my childhood). But I like to be able to justify all my actions, living a la guilt free! Understanding where I'm coming from helps me calm down in stressful situations and also helps me prove my points in conversation even better 😉. However, I have also started noticing how filtering through reasons and making rules as to why I should or shouldn't feel a certain way can really fuck you up... Self control is needed, and really difficult for many to grasp, but how far can you go without completely detaching yourself from.. yourself? And what happens when this rationalising turns to overthinking?
The idea that every feeling I have needs to be accounted for is as genius as it is diabolical. I will never need to feel like I have to prove myself, as long as I keep proving it to myself. What kind of torturous mind game is that?
But really, is trying to prove my every motivation/reaction to myself more of a waste of time or a noble quest to better myself as a human? Cause its tripping my brains out and really I just wish i didn't have to get SO DAMN DEEP all the time.
So yeah, swamp thing is one (or maybe many) of my embarrassing feelings towards many things... and that beam of light is me trying to expose them! So the villain isn't always that bad, but I'm rooting for my monsters... let a lil' bitch lurk 👀 they too scared to come after you. For now.
Thank you so much to Joe Taylor for modelling and by my babe Alex Neal for the photography. 💕